stop

but stop
whens the last time you listened
To the sounds of life instead of
the melodys of the modern day bliss
that we now know to be happiness
but really we are weightless
lies, todays word is worthless
but my people we not hopeless
we are simply in need of a change, yes
well be aright one day, i guess.
after a divine intervention of importance
to keep family and loved ones at the top of the list
no herb no candy is at the top of the list
greed out the door, keeping a hold on this
work hard to work harder and give life a kiss
promised the American dream is what they told his
heart, chasing the good life when its hit or miss
stay true thru the lies and the broken promises
stereotypes, prejudices, and everday misconceptions
of my people and our struggle in need of new directions
but go on
the fast track on the bird course never last forever
but a focus mind and man will always be together
if the path gets crossed, stop.
and read it from the top.

the truth.

as i walk alone thru a room full of knows
i only see the guys all fake and girls all hoes.

i think, how i pity what has became
how we all try to live like those with fame

guys run wild untamed. dog like, sex her
and never even really know her name.

for the mind stuck in a frame, running around
looking for a new person to blame.

vice, while all the girls play their game
their really just hiding the stain from their
heart once slain.

one track mind: fill the void, heal the pain then,
give it up to make it up and play it back again

meanwhile i must remain in the tunnel of my vision
ive changed the life i led, i have made a life revision

and all the while my mind stays sober.
when in the heat one wrong move and its over.

they are living under cover, who are these people
around me acting like they know eachother?

fake minds tell lies, leading to
subconcious suicide of the mind.

living in less color than the blind
reality unknown, living without a spine.

so i strive for my actions to be above,
to be true and show reflections of my love

if only i wasnt alone in this crusade
clashing with the titans, swinging wild with a blade

ive always been so different since the day i was born
i found out young that every rose has its thorn

by me a mask is never worn
but my friends so phony and my mind is torn

the truth. the truth about us
the messes we create fallowed by all the fuss

living thru the day with unfound trust
only time will tell what will happen to us.

the truth.

the monster

the escape is what i used to call it.
running from the world.

thats all it truely is,
take a trip everyday
but really just running.

running away, cowardly
refusing to single handedly
face my problems on my own

it was nice for awhile
ofcourse, everything is
at one point or another.

but now its become my
deamon, my flaw
its a monster that is now
just another thing i run from

but im done running.
the time has come to
grow up. face up. show
up

theres much more to life
than every day trying to
keep the clouds in my face.

but that escape was so easy
it was so comfortable
i miss it.

but i cant go back
its not worth it, i
cant risk it.

its a monster, chasing me as
i run. i hate it when it tries to
pull me back into the life that
im so whole heartedly trying to
evade.

let the smoke clear
and the days full of
haze be layed to rest.

let the morning bells ring
for i am here, and i am here
to stay.

the true me and the only me
the me with out the monster.

i see the light on my own, i see
the big picture. only got one life
and i plan to live it right.

i love all the people that love me,
but ive made this change for me.

i cant live like that, no way no how.
end up dead or in jail, neither a place
i see myself enjoying.

a real mind, made a real conclusion.
no more running, no more confusion.

im done and im here.

beauty

her beautiful soul that i see in her eyes
is as beautiful as the new morning sun rise

her pure existence is beautiful bliss
she pours out her love with every single kiss

how could someone seem so perfect for me?
how could that someone contain so much beauty?

from head to toe shes beautiful, her body is perfection
but her mind is what is love, and the way she asks question after question

her beautiful mind holds true through all the bad weather
she stands by my side, when they never want to see us together

her beauty is so real, that it will last forever
ill never let her go, not now, not ever.

dear mama. 2

its been days since ive seen the sky.

spendin these days wondering why,

why people change and make me feel this way,

they hurt me, so all i know is to push them away.

push them away so far that they cant see,

make it easier to hide the change in me.

but she always say, boy a mom always knows,

she knew when i ran, and we stopped bein close.

she couldnt believe the choices that i chose.

she was hurt, but still the one that cared the most.

i love you momma, and theres about a million reasons,

you remain the SUN in life, keeping me warm thru the seasons.

you are the muscle that never tires

thru thick and thin, up and down, even thru the wire (kanye)

i want us to get better momma me and you

i wanna tell you every single thing like i used too

instead of the lies that youve recently gotten used too

im gonna be ok momma ull see,

i got my job and now you're gna see me

doin my thing, working hard, makin money

doin what i love, how could anyone have ever doubted me?

goin to college, running and living life,

happy with her, shell still be my wife

i realize momma, how much you help my life

you raised me good my mind is as sharp as a huntin knife (what?)

let me live, let me chase success

just sit back and watch, be witness

to man on the grind, its hit or miss

but all i need is love, cealed with a kiss

be proud of me mom, itll be aright

if i can keep my mind sound thru the day and night

without the clouds in my face i can really see

how much the people i love really mean to me



Love conqueres all.

who am i to say

who am i to say, you love me?
who am i to say, you need me?

who am i to say that one day i wont watch you walk away
pack up all your shit, and throw all that we had away

who am i to say that the love you speak of, is real.
im not you, i dont know how you feel.

who am i to say that you are worthy of my trust.
i wouldnt be suprised if one day i found out it was all a bust

who am i to say, that im foreal the only one

i dont know anything. at all.

i love you. but who am i to say..

rhymes to live by

i dare to be different, to stand out is key.
dont have much money but im rich with originality.

a way with words, make them dance around your ear
when the smoke is clear, youll see that im never near

the lames. the games of the players who are fake.
with their entries to live the life of i, for they dont know life is what you make

but really life is what you take
chances and opportunity, but its to short for hate.

smile. live happy and love often
keep soft the words that are spoken
and always remember to speak the words unspoken

dont fear the times when the heart is broken.
for love is never known if pain has never set in.

believe.
more than anything, always believe there is something more.
therefore, when it seems like the end, youll know life always has more in store.

expand the mind of man.
do a lot, but dont do more than you can.

dont fear your doom because the end is inevitable
dont listen to the talk of the after life, because the facts are too debateable.

life. can only take what you get.
live laugh and love, be sure to love dont forget.

rrrrrrrhhhhymmmmmes to live by.

LOVE.

im so in love and it feels so right
she blinds me with her love, i have no sight.

no eyes for other girls because my baby is my world,
no way id ever leave.. because without her i cant breathe.

she means the world to me, shes fam.
without her i wouldnt be everything i am.

shes the truth, nothin but real,
no girl has ever made me feel the way i feel.

i love her kiss because its oh so true,
i love her swag, but she has no clue. lol

shes the reason why, i smile.
to see her id drive, only around 69 miles.

she my fav, my boo, my boo boo.
shes the best girl in the world, times 2.

a poem for her could go on for pages,
similar to our love which is mature far past our ages.

id trade it all for you, make it rain or shine for you,
do nothin but care for you. be there when no one is there for you.

hold you through the darkest hours of the night,
whisper in your ear, baby itll be aright.
kiss your cheek, pull you close, hold you tight.
not a worry in the world when you come stay with me for the night.

but somtimes she come at me with that fuss and fight,
only listen to herself, only thing she is right.

her pride is inspiring,
but at times i think her brain needs rewiriing haha.

make a point out of nothin,
and win the fight no question.

when its on, its on. shes on full attack.
but i cant lie, i kinda like it when she acts like a brat.

her wild ways as a virgo keep me on my toes,
our plans of the future that noone knows,
the beauty of her face and perfection of her nose.

our feelings were somthing that never came slow
came fast and intense
we couldnt help but let them show.

thought itd be all over once her momma know,
but she knows how to ride,
shell go when she wanna go.

how can one conflict with perfection,
how can one not expect the unexpected.

but before the blunted becomes the hunted,
let the lovers take over.

have to bring the lines to an end.

its over.

reniggin

Success,
i blew up and landed on a cloud.
Rose as fast as i could and never looked down.
Never noticed all the mess that im in.
Never noticed all the pain that set in.
I drifted away left her cold with her thoughts,
her mind running wild, to much strength to be caught.
For the fear of the pain, the battle she faught,
the power to remain, the power i gave not.
Behind her gorgeous eyes
were the lies and ties of intertwined confusion otherwise,
known as a mistake.
The chance on me she takes,
i roll.
she pumps the breaks.
For inside her heart aches,
and the winter in her heart begins to drop snow flakes.
Soon the ice will consume all that is love,
the memory of our passion will only be heard of.
The perfection of our kiss is now turned into winter bliss,
the absence of my light has turned every day into night.
I stare into the dark and only see nothing, but with you in my life,
impossible is nothing.
The perfection of us together,
has the power to be forever,
in my arms we belong together,
bring back my light and destroy the cold weather.
I want you now and i want you forever.

frequent thoughts.

i mean shit even malcolm was wrong, what else could i be wrong about

life has left me riding alone, im full of anger with out a doubt

she can move mountains, but i refuse to hear her words

i break it up, twist it tight and let it fly like birds

i just want to live and make money, do my hustle

why are you stressin me, im not gnna get in no trouble

you say thats what they all say, how do you know

youve never been me, so when it comes to how i live, what do you know

you know and only know, what i show, and thats all you know, about anyone

im misundertood, left behind, and moved past

my actions caused by the times in my head when my emotions crash

an addiction. living the life of the lonely loner

im fine, dont worry. is the lie i always told her

sadness, is all around me and fallows me through out my day

i want to smile, but everday i have a harder time finding a way.

the flows and rhymes of a confused kid, whos mind is gone

shit happens, but itll be aright. life goes on.

dear mama.

from day 1 you were always there for me
i scream mom and you always scare the monsters for me

growing up you showed my love, it was all i knew
i know you still love me mom even though ive become brand new

raised me to think for myself, do for myself
yeah i hate leason but i also dont want you to be by yourself

my mind is great and my thoughts are in the right place
i want success momma dont think id slow my pace

im arrogant and hard headed, i wouldnt be any other way
i love you mom and i know what i do is hard to take

its my life though mom i just gotta live
growin more and more everyday, my mind is big

im smart i know what im doing
i just wish all the disputes and sadness wasnt ensuing

im gonna make it mom, dont worry youll see
im on a mission, failure is out of the question for me

i love you mom and i wish you could understand
im growing up, let me go, i have to become a man

phone ramble.

Im on another level. In my spaceship far past the clouds. So high i feel like i should be seeings the heavens. But ofcourse i dont. Theres no heaven for me. No paradise or glimpse of perfection with me. Im average never great but never bad. Its annoying and redundant and dumb. Rambling like a mad man i know i am. But im just tryin to come up as a writer like nathan spalding. Want to write and publish a book. I want my name to be famous and respected. I want my poems taught in class like poe or chaucer. My dreams are endless so i keep tryin steady. Never work to hard tho, nothing tomorrow is promised today. Just like kanye said. The writings of the mind are insane. On the brink of sanity and it becomes a choice. Therefore the mind of he remains insane. The insomiacs and the ones who fear the night feel my pain. Never sleep for sleep is the cousin of death. Atleast thats what jeezy said. The poem of the modern day confused byracial black kid in america.

Bloggggg from my phoneeeee

fake story.

2 am
im sitting in my car, releasing the tension.
escaping the world and the trials of life
all of a sudden the car is surrounded.
from inside the tinted windows i see a persons figure at every window.
in an instant all the windows are smashed
i tuck and cover my face in fear of the glass
i drop my scrungion and just begin swinging
in fear for my life
the battle was lost and the men jumped me and took me with them in their truck

i wake up groggy
i dont know where i am or how i got here
my shirt is covered with blood and i have an insane headache
my lips feel fat and i can only see out of one eye.
im in a small room with a little cot.
the door of the room is briskly flung open and a man comes in

he tells me that my father has somthing of his and he needs it back
he said the consequenses of him not getting what he needs of my dads will be catastrophic.
he said that my love, my girlfriend, the only girl in this world that knows me best
will be the first to die.

(he is after a golden chain that my dad wore and bestowed upon me when i reached the age of 17
his dad gave it to him at that age so it was only right that he gave it to me
i keep it on a wire shelf in my room.)

i replied back to the man and told him the only person i can call and can trust to retrieve the golden chain is my girlfriend and i need a phone to reach her

the man replied saying it was good that i needed to get ahold of her, because he needed to do the same thing inorder to place me in a position of desparity so he can get what he wants

i recieve his phone and call her
she doesnt answer.
i call again
the same result.

the man grows angrier and angrier and begins to smack me around in his frustration.
i ask to let me call one final time.
i call and she answers
i quickly explain the situation to her and she says that she too knows where i keep the chain
the chain means the world to me, it contains the power and pride of all of our family
i am the last man with the last name bridges therefore the chain was supposed to remain in my possesion.

but this guy that has taken me is from a rival family and wants to steal it.
so i explain to her how to take it from the shelf and how to bring it to where i am.

we wait and wait and wait
4 hours later she arrives
the chain is handed away and i am freed

upon walking out of this huge house out in the middle of no where
a pack of dogs is sicked after us and guns are shot off to arraise havoc in the dogs i thought
but the shot were really at me, and the blood running down my chest scared me to death.

i woke up in the hospital
my girl the one i love the only one there by my side

i lost my family chain
my prized possesion
but i still have her
and the love of a good woman can take a man much farther than any possesion.

my baby

i find myself in a state of confusion

i love her but why do i feel so distant

i want to close in on her, feelings remain consistant

i want too shower her with my love, show her the true feelings of the heart

no matter how bad i want to reveal the truth, but the truth is i dont know where to start

i can put it into words, a poem or just something cute

but in the actions of my ways, my love seems so acute

i sacrafice my life, i have changed so much because her

my whole life has changed, all caused by my love for her

no more chasing girls and playing games the time to grow up has come

but when she pleas to see the actions of my feelings, what she recieves is none

the tree of problems stems out and remains deep rooted under the ground

hidden behind the pride, so strong but can never make a sound

i love her. but does she really understand?

i love her and all i can do is the best i can

to show her the truth and for me to be the man

for me and my love needs to unite and make a stand

shes the light of my life, the reason i smile

i could never be with out her, not even for a little while

shes the beauty of my life, the spirit i thrive on

only person i trust, only girl ill lend my ear on

i listen to her when i listen to no one else

but i have to show her shes my world, or else.

love.

somethin for class

Adam Thomas is just a regular guy.
Kid cudi was his favorite rapper.
Candy is what he sold, to support his rich life style
Jet plane is how he arrived in Cleveland.
Paying money was no object, for he had plenty.
Fun was on the way, out of the plane, on the way to the show.
Man the crowd live, this is the crowd that goes the hardest.
Wowie, i smoke Maui Wowie, the cudi song plays on
On my way home, the show was fun, had the time of my life, now its all done.

on the dark side of the moon

the dark side of the moon

i often takes rides in my spaceship
to a place on the dark side of the moon

its a place of escape,
a safe haven for the young and the restless

the restless because we dont sleep
we live with the fear of sleep
for the night terrors seem to never cease

the stress and the pressure
choose! decide! what are you going to do?

hop in my spaceship is what i tell em,
and on my way i go to the dark side of the moon

its my place my home.
at one time it was my escape,
but it has risen to another level

i find myself there everyday
escaping the pressure and the bull shit
on the dark side of the moon

i am different than you
an alien so to speak

up on the dark side of the moon is my place
there, it doesnt matter the color of your skin
or the amount of money in your pocket

where youve been, what youve done
it doesnt matter
on the dark side of the moon.

but one day i will stop
stop making the trip to the dark side of the moon

but as long as the pain remains
the loneliness remains
and the night terrors remain
so i remain

on the dark side of the moon.

laquisha,

you over load us with work, play no games when it comes to deadlines and cut us no breaks. no matter how mush of kids we are. as mush as i hate it, you bring out a the poetic and thinking side of me which id much rather just keep to myself. but keeping to myself as you know has caused me problems, so even though i secretly hate you for making me write, it always seems to help. just like you said it would.

with every question or idea you drop upon us, you leave room for any and every answer. something i admire which isnt dont by many other teachers. a lot of kids love you for how "cool" and "tight" you are but its not like that with me. honestly to me you're a dork. but you push me, and seemingly really do care about me so thats why i actually do the work you give me and actually listen to you, most times anyway.

there have been people from the past who have changed my life as well but my relationship with them now... i hate most them because they contradicted everything they ever told me, and left me. but i dont see that happening with you, so i wrote about you and not them.

your student,
Evan Bridges

the rants of a mind that takes trips to the sky

i find myself evading my home,
in search of a place to escape the normality of my life.
but shes still on my mind.

late night drives, listen to the cd deck, let the bass ease my mind
go to the park alone, shoot ball under the lights and just relax.
but shes still on my mind.

a late night visitor, a lift, an escape, a trip, a ride to the sky
she comes so sweetly and so intimately
its a love that began a long time ago, and now has grown into a never ending
infatuation.

she is everything i want, but nothing that i need.
shes always there when i need her, but ill never tell her i love her

i can talk to her and she wont judge me,
she sees no color, no black and white
she just sees happiness, and thats exactly what she brings me.

while not being what i need, she never fails to put a smile on my face,
i love how she makes me feel, like im flying and like i cannot be stopped
i feel at ease and in peace, loved and safe...
no matter what is going on inside the world i have created in my head
for me to live in.

i let her in, because i trust her.
shes never lied, or told my secrets
she just lets it go, lets it burn.

she changes me, for the good or bad i cant really tell
but i dont care because i will never let her go.

she came sweetly in the night,
touched my lips so soft,
and sent a feeling through my body so strong
so real.
shes never fake, shes the same everytime

i love her scent,
i love how good she is to me.

a fascination untamed,
in the mind of mine which is running wild as is.

how long will she continue her more than friendly visits?
she hasnt let me down thus far, and i doubt she ever will.

i love her, but ill never tell her.
not admit it to her, and stay away from admitting it to myself.

i dont need her i swear, i could go with out her..
but she makes me smile, and why would i push that away.

well be together forever
its me and her in my world
together.

the rants of a mind that takes trips to the sky.

ive become overwhelmed by my hatred for the way you are.
it has attacked my mind and consumed all of my thoughts.
you are so distant from me that i dont even know who you are.
you come around when its convienient, when you can fit me in your schedule.
i know your busy, i pretend like i understand but i dont.
why would you not want to see me?
why would you not want to talk to me every day?
i want to talk to you everyday...
what have i done to make you be so scarce?
im almost 18 now, youve told me to think for myself and never be a follower.
well im taking that advice and last person im going to follow is you.
i will never be like you, and treat the people i "love" the way you do.
i will be there. i will be there.
the man i chalked you up to be, the man i thought you to be all of this time.
you are not a man, you are a coward.
you hide from your own feelings.
i will never, ever be like you.
17 years old and im stronger than you.
i will never be like you.
i will be there.
resentment, anger, hatred, despair, sadness
have taken your place in my heart, and in my mind.
im done with you.
because youve long been done with me.
and i promise, i will never ever be like you.
i will be there.

Carved by the words that are not said, and those that are.



Running from the words, that should be said, that could be said.
hiding behind the truth, of what you feel, the thoughts in your head.


lock them up, throw away the key.
ill never let it show... how much you truely mean to me.


i push you away, keep you at a distance where the pain can never be felt.
you are so different, so special, never just another notch on my belt.


i see you and smile, but quickly look away.
funny to watch the silly games, that love makes us play.


you touch me, my heart skips a beat, my lungs collapse, i suffiocate.
not breathing, not thinking, this nervous feeling that i hate.
you are more than a girlfriend, you are my bestfriend, and with that comes no debate.

behind your eyes, lies your soul and all the love you embrace me with.
you lay it all on the table for me, your heart is now mine to be careful with.

father.. not so much. Man.. very much so.

Screaming, bickering, coming and going. Where is dad? What was a five year old supposed to think? Ive seen pictures and been told stories but i only have 1 memory of my dad before he left my house. I woke up one morning and walked into the kitchen and mom was cooking breakfast and he was sitting at the table ready to eat, with his green bath robe on that had a really weird pattern, and his house shoes that i remember he mashed down the heels so when i tried to wear them they would never stay on. He was huge, i thought he was the biggest, most strongest man in the world, and the more i grow up the more i see how much he really is. He was hard on me from day 1. Anytime i even thought about crying, he would quickly let me know that if i wanted to cry he would forsure give me something to cry about. I had bad temper when i was younger and a lot of things made me mad and when i got mad and started "showing my ass" as he used to say, he would snatch me up faster than anyone has ever seen. He used to hold my hand up and spank my but so hard that my feet flew up, and before it got to that point he would do the classic, two finger poke right in my chest by my shoulder. If that didnt get the message across that i need to start acting right he would take his finger and slide up the back of my head, it felt like somebody was lighting a match on my neck. He was tough on me, and for good reason. My dad, very similar to me has an extremely hard time showing love and compassion when it is real and abundant. So the way he showed he cared was to be tough on me. Its all he knows. when he was little his dad died when he was 4 in car wreck. Him being the youngest, with an older brother and an even older sister with a single black mom and no money, life was rough. He played basketball ofcourse. Living in scottsville kentucky what else is there to do? He was a cute kid, out going, girls loved him, a lot like myself, atleast thats what ive been told. He was a heck of a basketball player, he was a star among the people of the small town, he found refuge in the gym and a father figure in his coach who was very close too. When my dad was 16, things took a turn for the worse and put him in a pretty bad spot. He got a little white girl pregnant and back then keeping it was the only option. My brother Brandon is like 34 or 35 now, he has a wife and kid of his own. I have talked to him, maybe 3 times in my life, and i have no clue how much my dad talks to him. But i can only imagine how tough is was to go through that as a 16 year old in high school with no money. Im sure it was rough. After high school he went on to a junior college in tennesee. For two years his team and him went around stomping everyone. They were good and he was good, but the two years ended eventually. So he moved on to kwc which is where he met my mother. He played baseball there and knew my grandpa and uncle before me knew my mom. They all knew him as a real stand up kind of guy, just all around good, smart and well spoken. He tried out for the basketball team, it came down to him and another guy and again things took a turn for the worse and he didnt get picked to be the walk-on that year. So that was the end of school for my dad. He worked at walmart for a long time, while in college and even more when he finished. He was a top manager and a very hard worker. Even to this day, im sure he sees someone he used to work with at wal-mart all those years ago. He knows everyone it seems like. But to continue, him and mom married and had my sister jade. Things were fine, he worked at walmart and my mom was a secretary at texas gas. 6 years pass and then i came along. We moved from a little house on haviland to a nice 3 bedroom house on mcintire, both streets in the neighborhood twin lakes where i still live today. Things to me were fine, but when i was about 5 years old dad was never around. As i grew up i realized and was told that they had divorced and that i go and stay with my dad everyother weekend. Living at home without him wasnt bad, because i dont remember living with him. Which i think is very sad because my mother and grandma both tell me how close me and him were and all the things he did for me when i was little, and i have no memory of any of it. Years passed and i went to his house every other weekend. He got girlfriends and i met them, moved in with women and i stayed with him and whoever on the weekends that i went to stay with him. I played baseball and basketball, both sports that he played so that kept us close. He stayed on top of me, making sure i was always practicing and keeping my self ready. Im not a big guy, never have been and never will be and i was always the smallest kid on any team i was on. I was intimidated and passive, a punk basically. I was the oposite of what he was when he was my age, but he pushed to be everything he was. Baseball is the devil sport to me, i hated it more than anything. The whole experience of batting was the scariest thing i had ever experienced in my life. Basketball was both of our loves though. But after awhile, the love for basketball was over taken by the constant frustration of having him on my back. So now that I have grown up a lot and really started being very independent i quit the sport that we shared a love for. After that, and after i got my license and pretty much quit going to his house on the weekends, out relationship fell apart. I run cross country, which is something he knows absolutely nothing about but he comes and supports me when he can, but thats not to often because he owns his own barber shop now and saturday a.k.a. meet day, is a big day at the barber shop, and hes got to make his money. So for the past couple years our relationship has dwindled down to nothing. The only time i speak ot my father is when i go and let him cut my hair. Back in the day he used to call and check in every once and while but that has stopped, he shoots me a text from time to time but after i text him back once there is no reply. Both of us love the other so much, but neither of us know how to approach each other at this point. The way me and him are, kills me. It absolutely throws a dagger through my heart each and every time i think about it. Im at a point in my life right now where i need a male figure to look up too and hes not there. But as much as I could say about that Im no the kind of person to just lay down and leave it at that. I understand the way my dad is, and i understand the way things have gone to end up the way we are now. I wouldnt change it for the world, he is my hero with our a doubt. Through out his life he has been faced with so much adverisity and none of it has slowed him down. He started with a dream to own his own barber shop, and how he does. He loves to have nice things around him and he does. He drives a mercedes benz s.u.v. it is really nice. All my life all he wanted me to do was become a man, and he used sports and things like that was a way to teach me to be responsible and dependable and to develop a work ethic that was untouchable by any kid my age. He made me tough, and always reading to speak my mind and fight for what i believe it no matter what. The distance between us hurts, and i hope it will find a way to be worked out eventually. But as mad as i am at him, and as upset as i am with our realtionship, i love him with all my heart and i know he loves me and cares about me more than anything. I look up to him because he made it, he is a man and he has battled though everything that was put infront of him. A father... in his own way. A man.... no doubt, and i can only hope to be half the man that he is when i grow up.