fullfilling

the tenth blog
in the nick of time

one month closer to graduation day
life becomes life and it truely begins.
but ohhhhhh the boredom until may.

her

the last two days have probably been the most eye opening of all my days
i see that i am truely as alone as i think
but at the same time im not, because i always have her
its insane how much we have in common that we dont even know about
we learn more and more and fall more and more in love everytime we speak or meet
she teaches me so much and opens my eyes the same way i do hers
she can speak through her feelings, and bring my emotions out of me
shes becoming my life and its a life i love to live
my life has been saved by her
and love like hers will never be shown by another
real.
and nothing but it.
i am in love.

questions

why is nothing perfect
why are we all different
who is really in charge
what power do we really fallow
how far away is the moon
how high is too high
whats in the sky
whats under the ground
why am i so lonely
why is everyone so fake
why is the weak the majority
how long will this continue
who sent her here to save me
why?

gay

love encompassed passion
exhilarating and breathe taking
the pause just before a kiss
the lock of eyes just after the touch of lips
hands showing love
bodies showing attraction
heavy breathing steady rising
time is here to let nature take its course
the deflowering of the bosom
and the search for warmth
same as the flower to the sun
as the wind thrust and pedals float in the breeze
turning now into the peaceful silence of slumber
the tightest hold is never quite enough
but a touch is all that is needed to stay safe through the night

reasons

Alone.
Misunderstood.
The mind of a youth in struggle
Is more complex and in pain than ever
Unloved, noone cares, how will this continue?
Misguided, off track; realize im throwing it all away
The smoke remains the remedy, but only to stay numb
To feel nothing and give nothing
to anyone
Thats all the smoke can do for me.
But thats not what i want, not what my heart wants
I stay on my route, but i see that this left should have been right.
Its never to late to make anything happen
Impossible is nothing and options are endless
But i need someone to show me love
To teach me how to love
Someone real enough to tell me im half the man i think i am
A world rocker, a shocker aka just someone real
This person i will never find though
Bc shes been in my life all the while.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

true poetry, rap is crap???

rap is crap?? look again true faces of ignorance.
the feelings the behind the struggle of a man trying to make it.
deep.

(Lil Wayne) I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes
Hate in my heart, love in my mind
I seen nights full of pain, days of the same
You keep the sunshine, save me the rain
I search but never find, hurt but never cry
I work and forever try, but Im cursed, so never mind
And its worse, but better times seem further and beyond
The top gets higher the more that I climb
The spot gets smaller, and I get bigger
Tryna get into where I fit in, no room for a brotha
Cause all the bullshit, it made me strong, my brotha

mmmhm.

twist and pull

as i sit and twist and pull

my hair, i ponder what is to come.

i wonder why things happen

and where does the wind come from.

as i sit and twist and pull

the plug holding back the gallons of rain

let it shower, wash us clean

so i can see my friend again.

as i sit and twist and pull

this knife out of my soul

the pain never lets me forget

all the friends ive had to watch go.

as i sit and twist and pull
these emotions from my being
im in need of answers
and answers ill be seeking
as i sit and twist and pull
the comedic remedies out to ease
the seriousness of reality
locked up, throw out the keys.
as i sit and twist and pull
i run out of fight
the listening has passed
and im all out of might.