real talk.

my ideal is to be the ideal runner. up untill this summer my body was a well oiled machine. ran every morning ate all day stayed as healthy as could be. but anymore i just feel miserable half the time and hazy the rest. the samething that makes me sick makes me feel better so its a vicious cycle thats taking me no where. if things changed i could have my body back to the high stature that it once was. but the thing is, that change takes to long to make me feel better, i need more immediate results, which just leads to more misery. misery needs company so ofcourse i treat everyone else around me like shit. me and the ol girl got into it pretty bad because i was basically being a huge butt hole for absolutely no reason and embarassed her infront of a new friend of hers. things like that make me step back and look and the things im doing and i know i have to make adjustments. its not to late for major changes, i just dont want one. i like how i live and what i do, therefore i do and will continue to do it. and ofcourse i know my potential as a runner, i could be great. i am great. i will continue to be great. but like they say runners are always complaining but never satisfied. one of these days ill get things straight, but who knows when thatll be. ive always been the kinda guy thats very rational and reasonable. i have a lot of sense and know how, but you couldnt tell by this because its the only thing i do that doesnt make any sense. but no end is near.