what is so wrong with me?
why do i feel as tho i am so unloved
so looked over
i feel like no one cares.
ill quit given you advice and just cut your hair.
the words he leaves his " son " with.
what if god left jesus like that.
where would all you god fearing patrons be now?
same place i am
in a loss of sense
a state of backwards confusion
full of heart ache and tears
i yearn to be numb.
able to not feel even the sharpest of forced entries.
eventually i will be there.
peace is on the horizon
Sunday, February 28, 2010
my life
my life:
sitting in the middle of a dark room alone.
listening to the silence.
finding it strange that this seems preferred.
no one understands.
not even me.
sitting in the middle of a dark room alone.
listening to the silence.
finding it strange that this seems preferred.
no one understands.
not even me.
war
im my own worst enemy
running in circles
landing in the beginning
forcing myself to hold it all in
only to explode in an array of emotions
bleeding hopelessness and yearning for meaning
where did it start
where does it end
will i ever be free
of myself.
running in circles
landing in the beginning
forcing myself to hold it all in
only to explode in an array of emotions
bleeding hopelessness and yearning for meaning
where did it start
where does it end
will i ever be free
of myself.
the fall
sunshine is irrelevant
the gray skys of my world never embark upon
the blue heavens that not only gods can speak of.
the world revolved around what
other than currency
selfish pigheaded minds parading as realist
i pity this world.
and everything it will become.
the gray skys of my world never embark upon
the blue heavens that not only gods can speak of.
the world revolved around what
other than currency
selfish pigheaded minds parading as realist
i pity this world.
and everything it will become.
alone
10 blogs a month.
poetry to entertain the unentertained.
words to explain my pain
but who really cares.
no one reads the lines from my mind
so why even write and try to unwind
the cap of my emotions
twisted tighter than the tightest of twisted might
nightmares of unreasonable terror torture me thru the night
who is there to know
who is there to see
nobody.
im alone.
poetry to entertain the unentertained.
words to explain my pain
but who really cares.
no one reads the lines from my mind
so why even write and try to unwind
the cap of my emotions
twisted tighter than the tightest of twisted might
nightmares of unreasonable terror torture me thru the night
who is there to know
who is there to see
nobody.
im alone.
????????
what is the point of this life?
what is there to hope for?
4 more years of running and dragging my raged body
4 more years of learning that will amount to nearly nothing
a life of working to feed a family i will feel engaged to love
loving a wife whom i stay with even tho shes changed.
the love can never remain to same forever.
what is there to hope for?
meaninglesss.
what is there to hope for?
4 more years of running and dragging my raged body
4 more years of learning that will amount to nearly nothing
a life of working to feed a family i will feel engaged to love
loving a wife whom i stay with even tho shes changed.
the love can never remain to same forever.
what is there to hope for?
meaninglesss.
heavy
hopelessness
abandonment
im lost
im hurting
save me please,
anybody.
i hear them chasing me
but will i answer them
i cannot escape
myself
abandonment
im lost
im hurting
save me please,
anybody.
i hear them chasing me
but will i answer them
i cannot escape
myself
what would you do?
What would you think if you saw the world thru my eyes
From where im standing,from the position im in.
Would you understand how i feel, would you feel my pain, would you draw the same
Conclusions.
Would you let anyone in?
Would you be scared or angry
Or as confused as i am?
Would you light it up to make all these feelings go away?
Just to come down and see that its all really the same
It wasnt supposed to be like this.
Not me not my life
Why am i so mad
Why cant i just let go?
I feel as if i dont and never will know.
But if you saw the world thru my eyes could you ever understand how deep it hurts, al the way to my soul.
Is that something yo could live with every single day? could you get out of bed each morning with out ever really sleeping
Would you have the strenght to keep pushing
To be the man you seek
Or would you fold and never become.
A man, at all.
If you saw the world thru my eyes, what would you do?
From where im standing,from the position im in.
Would you understand how i feel, would you feel my pain, would you draw the same
Conclusions.
Would you let anyone in?
Would you be scared or angry
Or as confused as i am?
Would you light it up to make all these feelings go away?
Just to come down and see that its all really the same
It wasnt supposed to be like this.
Not me not my life
Why am i so mad
Why cant i just let go?
I feel as if i dont and never will know.
But if you saw the world thru my eyes could you ever understand how deep it hurts, al the way to my soul.
Is that something yo could live with every single day? could you get out of bed each morning with out ever really sleeping
Would you have the strenght to keep pushing
To be the man you seek
Or would you fold and never become.
A man, at all.
If you saw the world thru my eyes, what would you do?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
february 11th.
Thursday February 11th.
the last day, before the first day of my life.
February 11th everything changes.
life begins.
the smoke is cleared.
February 11th is the last of the hazy vision.
a blog everyday. to celebrate unblocked reality.
let love for her grow stronger and stronger.
Evan Bridges. 2-11-10
the last day, before the first day of my life.
February 11th everything changes.
life begins.
the smoke is cleared.
February 11th is the last of the hazy vision.
a blog everyday. to celebrate unblocked reality.
let love for her grow stronger and stronger.
Evan Bridges. 2-11-10
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