crushed

playgroud crush.

as a junior in high school i was different than the rest of the guys around me. when i was five my dad left, and lived with my mom and sister nearly all my life. i really feel like that gave me a bit of a deeper understanding of women. my mother is my best friend and we have been very close all my life. most times, a guy treats a girl like he treats his mother and i treat my mom like a queen. i was a lover boy to say the least. i had a girlfriend at all times, some times had a few at a time. but just as sure as the sun rises, there was one girl who made me crumble like a cookie.

she was so beautiful and no matter how cocky and smooth i could be, with her it was never the case. it was a struggle just for me to look her in the face, whether she was looking at me or not. intimidated i was, and for the first time in my life. she was tall and long, and curvy as well. a nice butt; which is where a lot of my attention goes. she spoke softly and very effectively. she never said to much, and her laugh was quite charming. i thought if only i could talk to her, i could make her mine.

we met on a hill on night. i drove to see her quite late and experienced nothing that was forethought. we sat and talked for a brief five minutes. i didn't touch her or even really look her in the eye. i was so nervous, i couldn't put any words together to woo this young lioness. with my tail tucked deep between my legs, she returned to her house at down the hill and i returned to my car and began my route home.

i gained her number though and through that, quite a bong grew. we text ed and talked on the phone, more than any other girl i have ever been in conversation with over any media. everyday we spoke and every night she talked me or i talked her all the way to sleep.

when it was time for my next visit i took her to the playground. here me and her were free. free to be whom ever we wished to be. we swung on the swings and slithered down every slide just acting silly in the bliss of the night. we soon met upon a platform of the play ground. all edges end near, but there was a ladder that was at waist level that held up another platform. she sat on the that, and i stood between her legs. i took her hand, and held it for quite awhile. i turned it all around, look at it in every angle. i touched every inch of it. her hands were beautiful. i believe you cant tell a lot by a girls hands. hers were so smooth and clean. no fake nails or glamor polish to ask for attention. they were plain and clear, and as simple as could be. i loved the softness of her skin, i laced my fingers through hers and held and squeezed then released. repeating this, the whole time im staring at her hand. i look up, at her and look into her eyes. she looks amazed, as if what i have done has made her feel. and that is is what i wanted more than all, just to make her feel; something, anything. at this point i was infatuated with her being. she cared about me and i cared about her. the feeling of being wanted kept me so warm through the nights.

one night she stopped by my house. she text me and told me she was out side and i hopped up off the couch. i walked out side and down the drive way to her car, opened the door and entered. i say there and looked at her already watery eyes. i knew this must not be good, she began with.. we need to talk. i told her straight up, either be with me or lets let it go. she had friends that didn't like me and parents that didn't agree as well. she was in a bind. i told her be with me or let it go, and sadly i got out of her car that night feeling more alone and unwanted than ever. my heart left a trail of blood, staining where it fell all the way back to my bed room.

crushed.