dear agony

Dear Agony,

You have welcomed yourself into the depths of my being. You have moved in all of your extra baggage and have no plans of leaving, soon. Such a weight you are, heavy like a boulder, rolling my neck and pounding on my shoulders. With each day, you encompass my mind and tear apart my dreams, a trickle a time. With you on my back now, only circular evacuation will occur. I am running so fast but my destination equals nowhere. Ill spin my wheels as fast as they'll go, but you will still be there, like a shadow I cant escape. Agony, you have such a hold on me, lift your embrace and put me back in control. But your mad crusades only continue. Your weapons prove fatal; hate you I do.

A creature in the night, the true faceless enemy you remain. See you I shall never, but host you for what seems like eternity; I will. As you suck the life right out of me; I can only reach for all for the ways to ease my pain and struggle. Puff after puff, exhaling the numbness of necessity. I keep searching for an answer, in the daze it’s not important. Drag after drag, inhaling and failing, but this non-productivity exceeds me. Again circular evacuation. Because of you, I have lost who I am. In this struggle alone, with out even myself to keep company. A stoner lonely loner, high just reaching for the heavens. Remaining so misunderstood, but my pen is my weapon. But interaction remain to ray from. I run from relationships; such a wall has been built. Agony, you signed your signature on the bottom of the blueprint.

Why wont you let me sleep? Stop attacking my dreams, and playing tricks on me. I wake up reaching for her, because in my dream she was there. You make me wake alone; and as I wipe the sleep out of my eyes, I watch her disappear. Therefore, days full of haze keep me for days in a daze. I am in seek to merely non remember, that spot that she laid. I stay so high, I dodge jet planes on the regular: stratosphere weed. Rolled to perfection with consistency, in turn, burn the back-wood tree, just to let my mind free. But the black clouds of smoke that I exhale never prevail. You have beaten me to a pulp, I am now a withered man. Fighting an endless war, and I am no victor. I am slipping into darkness like sand sliding through your fingers. Inevitability perhaps, but I still blame you. Agony you bring the truth and the realities I cant change. But they remain the ones pounding the hardest on my heart, and even harder on my brain. Agony, indeed, you are the one to blame.

Leave me now! Please evade my presence. You are no longer, nor have you ever been wanted. A sinister poison that attacked my mind, tied my hands and just drug me along. You jumped like a monkey on my back, ridden me to no end, now go back to the zoo you belong. You have beaten me black and blue, been a terror for so long; what else are you here for? You have won this gladiator battle, I feel nothing anymore, and no more fight lies within. I am writing to say goodbye, to let it be known this will be the end. You came around, and made it hurt. My only freedom of you, is to disappear into the dirt.

with hate,
Evan Bridges