uncommon
other than the rest
speaking more than mind
something hidden in the chest
but put it to the test.
the race to be the best,
or the racre to restore the quest?
lost behind bars
we go harder than the rest
and locked behind steel bars
i am now common like the mess
unstable emotion- explotions of
this
pinch of loud weed; away i give life
a kiss
truely behind the sun, darkness
falls
my addictions closing in, quadratic draw of
the walls
only to crush my skull
and leave the truth that remains
revealing the love in my heart
and the poet in my brain
the true test to be the best:
is to be on top of time living in
rhyme
idle time in wrong hands leads to
the common blind.
i must live in color and in time.
life live once, and this one shall be mine.
circular evading ends.
confrontation.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
dear agony
Dear Agony,
You have welcomed yourself into the depths of my being. You have moved in all of your extra baggage and have no plans of leaving, soon. Such a weight you are, heavy like a boulder, rolling my neck and pounding on my shoulders. With each day, you encompass my mind and tear apart my dreams, a trickle a time. With you on my back now, only circular evacuation will occur. I am running so fast but my destination equals nowhere. Ill spin my wheels as fast as they'll go, but you will still be there, like a shadow I cant escape. Agony, you have such a hold on me, lift your embrace and put me back in control. But your mad crusades only continue. Your weapons prove fatal; hate you I do.
A creature in the night, the true faceless enemy you remain. See you I shall never, but host you for what seems like eternity; I will. As you suck the life right out of me; I can only reach for all for the ways to ease my pain and struggle. Puff after puff, exhaling the numbness of necessity. I keep searching for an answer, in the daze it’s not important. Drag after drag, inhaling and failing, but this non-productivity exceeds me. Again circular evacuation. Because of you, I have lost who I am. In this struggle alone, with out even myself to keep company. A stoner lonely loner, high just reaching for the heavens. Remaining so misunderstood, but my pen is my weapon. But interaction remain to ray from. I run from relationships; such a wall has been built. Agony, you signed your signature on the bottom of the blueprint.
Why wont you let me sleep? Stop attacking my dreams, and playing tricks on me. I wake up reaching for her, because in my dream she was there. You make me wake alone; and as I wipe the sleep out of my eyes, I watch her disappear. Therefore, days full of haze keep me for days in a daze. I am in seek to merely non remember, that spot that she laid. I stay so high, I dodge jet planes on the regular: stratosphere weed. Rolled to perfection with consistency, in turn, burn the back-wood tree, just to let my mind free. But the black clouds of smoke that I exhale never prevail. You have beaten me to a pulp, I am now a withered man. Fighting an endless war, and I am no victor. I am slipping into darkness like sand sliding through your fingers. Inevitability perhaps, but I still blame you. Agony you bring the truth and the realities I cant change. But they remain the ones pounding the hardest on my heart, and even harder on my brain. Agony, indeed, you are the one to blame.
Leave me now! Please evade my presence. You are no longer, nor have you ever been wanted. A sinister poison that attacked my mind, tied my hands and just drug me along. You jumped like a monkey on my back, ridden me to no end, now go back to the zoo you belong. You have beaten me black and blue, been a terror for so long; what else are you here for? You have won this gladiator battle, I feel nothing anymore, and no more fight lies within. I am writing to say goodbye, to let it be known this will be the end. You came around, and made it hurt. My only freedom of you, is to disappear into the dirt.
with hate,
Evan Bridges
You have welcomed yourself into the depths of my being. You have moved in all of your extra baggage and have no plans of leaving, soon. Such a weight you are, heavy like a boulder, rolling my neck and pounding on my shoulders. With each day, you encompass my mind and tear apart my dreams, a trickle a time. With you on my back now, only circular evacuation will occur. I am running so fast but my destination equals nowhere. Ill spin my wheels as fast as they'll go, but you will still be there, like a shadow I cant escape. Agony, you have such a hold on me, lift your embrace and put me back in control. But your mad crusades only continue. Your weapons prove fatal; hate you I do.
A creature in the night, the true faceless enemy you remain. See you I shall never, but host you for what seems like eternity; I will. As you suck the life right out of me; I can only reach for all for the ways to ease my pain and struggle. Puff after puff, exhaling the numbness of necessity. I keep searching for an answer, in the daze it’s not important. Drag after drag, inhaling and failing, but this non-productivity exceeds me. Again circular evacuation. Because of you, I have lost who I am. In this struggle alone, with out even myself to keep company. A stoner lonely loner, high just reaching for the heavens. Remaining so misunderstood, but my pen is my weapon. But interaction remain to ray from. I run from relationships; such a wall has been built. Agony, you signed your signature on the bottom of the blueprint.
Why wont you let me sleep? Stop attacking my dreams, and playing tricks on me. I wake up reaching for her, because in my dream she was there. You make me wake alone; and as I wipe the sleep out of my eyes, I watch her disappear. Therefore, days full of haze keep me for days in a daze. I am in seek to merely non remember, that spot that she laid. I stay so high, I dodge jet planes on the regular: stratosphere weed. Rolled to perfection with consistency, in turn, burn the back-wood tree, just to let my mind free. But the black clouds of smoke that I exhale never prevail. You have beaten me to a pulp, I am now a withered man. Fighting an endless war, and I am no victor. I am slipping into darkness like sand sliding through your fingers. Inevitability perhaps, but I still blame you. Agony you bring the truth and the realities I cant change. But they remain the ones pounding the hardest on my heart, and even harder on my brain. Agony, indeed, you are the one to blame.
Leave me now! Please evade my presence. You are no longer, nor have you ever been wanted. A sinister poison that attacked my mind, tied my hands and just drug me along. You jumped like a monkey on my back, ridden me to no end, now go back to the zoo you belong. You have beaten me black and blue, been a terror for so long; what else are you here for? You have won this gladiator battle, I feel nothing anymore, and no more fight lies within. I am writing to say goodbye, to let it be known this will be the end. You came around, and made it hurt. My only freedom of you, is to disappear into the dirt.
with hate,
Evan Bridges
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
crushed
playgroud crush.
as a junior in high school i was different than the rest of the guys around me. when i was five my dad left, and lived with my mom and sister nearly all my life. i really feel like that gave me a bit of a deeper understanding of women. my mother is my best friend and we have been very close all my life. most times, a guy treats a girl like he treats his mother and i treat my mom like a queen. i was a lover boy to say the least. i had a girlfriend at all times, some times had a few at a time. but just as sure as the sun rises, there was one girl who made me crumble like a cookie.
she was so beautiful and no matter how cocky and smooth i could be, with her it was never the case. it was a struggle just for me to look her in the face, whether she was looking at me or not. intimidated i was, and for the first time in my life. she was tall and long, and curvy as well. a nice butt; which is where a lot of my attention goes. she spoke softly and very effectively. she never said to much, and her laugh was quite charming. i thought if only i could talk to her, i could make her mine.
we met on a hill on night. i drove to see her quite late and experienced nothing that was forethought. we sat and talked for a brief five minutes. i didn't touch her or even really look her in the eye. i was so nervous, i couldn't put any words together to woo this young lioness. with my tail tucked deep between my legs, she returned to her house at down the hill and i returned to my car and began my route home.
i gained her number though and through that, quite a bong grew. we text ed and talked on the phone, more than any other girl i have ever been in conversation with over any media. everyday we spoke and every night she talked me or i talked her all the way to sleep.
when it was time for my next visit i took her to the playground. here me and her were free. free to be whom ever we wished to be. we swung on the swings and slithered down every slide just acting silly in the bliss of the night. we soon met upon a platform of the play ground. all edges end near, but there was a ladder that was at waist level that held up another platform. she sat on the that, and i stood between her legs. i took her hand, and held it for quite awhile. i turned it all around, look at it in every angle. i touched every inch of it. her hands were beautiful. i believe you cant tell a lot by a girls hands. hers were so smooth and clean. no fake nails or glamor polish to ask for attention. they were plain and clear, and as simple as could be. i loved the softness of her skin, i laced my fingers through hers and held and squeezed then released. repeating this, the whole time im staring at her hand. i look up, at her and look into her eyes. she looks amazed, as if what i have done has made her feel. and that is is what i wanted more than all, just to make her feel; something, anything. at this point i was infatuated with her being. she cared about me and i cared about her. the feeling of being wanted kept me so warm through the nights.
one night she stopped by my house. she text me and told me she was out side and i hopped up off the couch. i walked out side and down the drive way to her car, opened the door and entered. i say there and looked at her already watery eyes. i knew this must not be good, she began with.. we need to talk. i told her straight up, either be with me or lets let it go. she had friends that didn't like me and parents that didn't agree as well. she was in a bind. i told her be with me or let it go, and sadly i got out of her car that night feeling more alone and unwanted than ever. my heart left a trail of blood, staining where it fell all the way back to my bed room.
crushed.
as a junior in high school i was different than the rest of the guys around me. when i was five my dad left, and lived with my mom and sister nearly all my life. i really feel like that gave me a bit of a deeper understanding of women. my mother is my best friend and we have been very close all my life. most times, a guy treats a girl like he treats his mother and i treat my mom like a queen. i was a lover boy to say the least. i had a girlfriend at all times, some times had a few at a time. but just as sure as the sun rises, there was one girl who made me crumble like a cookie.
she was so beautiful and no matter how cocky and smooth i could be, with her it was never the case. it was a struggle just for me to look her in the face, whether she was looking at me or not. intimidated i was, and for the first time in my life. she was tall and long, and curvy as well. a nice butt; which is where a lot of my attention goes. she spoke softly and very effectively. she never said to much, and her laugh was quite charming. i thought if only i could talk to her, i could make her mine.
we met on a hill on night. i drove to see her quite late and experienced nothing that was forethought. we sat and talked for a brief five minutes. i didn't touch her or even really look her in the eye. i was so nervous, i couldn't put any words together to woo this young lioness. with my tail tucked deep between my legs, she returned to her house at down the hill and i returned to my car and began my route home.
i gained her number though and through that, quite a bong grew. we text ed and talked on the phone, more than any other girl i have ever been in conversation with over any media. everyday we spoke and every night she talked me or i talked her all the way to sleep.
when it was time for my next visit i took her to the playground. here me and her were free. free to be whom ever we wished to be. we swung on the swings and slithered down every slide just acting silly in the bliss of the night. we soon met upon a platform of the play ground. all edges end near, but there was a ladder that was at waist level that held up another platform. she sat on the that, and i stood between her legs. i took her hand, and held it for quite awhile. i turned it all around, look at it in every angle. i touched every inch of it. her hands were beautiful. i believe you cant tell a lot by a girls hands. hers were so smooth and clean. no fake nails or glamor polish to ask for attention. they were plain and clear, and as simple as could be. i loved the softness of her skin, i laced my fingers through hers and held and squeezed then released. repeating this, the whole time im staring at her hand. i look up, at her and look into her eyes. she looks amazed, as if what i have done has made her feel. and that is is what i wanted more than all, just to make her feel; something, anything. at this point i was infatuated with her being. she cared about me and i cared about her. the feeling of being wanted kept me so warm through the nights.
one night she stopped by my house. she text me and told me she was out side and i hopped up off the couch. i walked out side and down the drive way to her car, opened the door and entered. i say there and looked at her already watery eyes. i knew this must not be good, she began with.. we need to talk. i told her straight up, either be with me or lets let it go. she had friends that didn't like me and parents that didn't agree as well. she was in a bind. i told her be with me or let it go, and sadly i got out of her car that night feeling more alone and unwanted than ever. my heart left a trail of blood, staining where it fell all the way back to my bed room.
crushed.
sexx
sex.
The sex, begins with the eyes. Her dark brows, curved in sweet perfection. though seemingly brown, when hit with the light her eyes prove to be the most beautiful green.
she looks at me, in her eyes i can see she isn't scared. shes ready for a man to be a man, to have his way with his lady. as i take a step closer, her eyes change to a wanting, screaming desire to be encompassed by my love, and no other love. another step, her eyes are glued to mine. to look away is fatal, the moment is on.
now for the first touch. i take my hands and grab her body just above her waist. love her curves with my hands and comfort her body. she touches my face, an occurrence i would usually immediately halt. but the touch was so gentle, so warm and smooth. i was infatuated with the feeling, i could never stop her. with that act, she gained the keys to the kingdom. she will forever be in my memory after this.
the kiss. i move in like a smooth cougar on his prey. slow creeping inside her space, to gain what i want. i move into her face, and pause. look at her eyes one more time, only to see them open. our lips meet, and both of our eyes remain open. in her eyes remained the want and the burning desire. after our lips met once, they met immediately again only to not part. we walked back a couple steps to the bed, our lips part only to lay down this beauty that is to be had.
i lay her down, and proceed to spread her legs. i have to open up her mind, in order to be let in. i sit up, rubbing up and down her naked thighs, and again our eyes meet. enticed with me she is; and she wants me now more than ever. i ask her if shes ready. she gives me a simple nod, fallowed by a beautiful lick of the lips. i move in for the kill, and invade her space again. kiss her so sweetly and softly, gently and slowly. i kiss down her cheek and make my way to her neck. bite, suck and kiss until i hear a sound. shes ready, but my plan has just begun. to the other side of her neck i move, crusading in the same manner, listening to her pleasure. i kiss back up her cheek and our lips meet again, now attached for the good; let the penetration begin.
i push in my love, slowly and gentle as i can. i don't want to hurt her, i hold her heart in my hands at this point. i push slow, and proceed to pump even slower. then the flow becomes recognizable and i am able to push deep. deep into her back, touching her mind, on a interconnected level connected by the heart and the spine. now she is mine. i give her all of me and she gave me her in return. after its over i lean back to the spot where i began. i look into eyes and love is all i see. she loves me for me, and now she knows all of me. as well now, i know her and our bond is deeper than a route the core. i can see she is happy that she gave me her gift, she knew i would love it, and it would bring us great peace.
sex; that began in the eyes. fallowed with a touch and then a kiss, and soon landed on the bed. love was exchanged and on an exhibition. after sex with her, i have truely found peace.
The sex, begins with the eyes. Her dark brows, curved in sweet perfection. though seemingly brown, when hit with the light her eyes prove to be the most beautiful green.
she looks at me, in her eyes i can see she isn't scared. shes ready for a man to be a man, to have his way with his lady. as i take a step closer, her eyes change to a wanting, screaming desire to be encompassed by my love, and no other love. another step, her eyes are glued to mine. to look away is fatal, the moment is on.
now for the first touch. i take my hands and grab her body just above her waist. love her curves with my hands and comfort her body. she touches my face, an occurrence i would usually immediately halt. but the touch was so gentle, so warm and smooth. i was infatuated with the feeling, i could never stop her. with that act, she gained the keys to the kingdom. she will forever be in my memory after this.
the kiss. i move in like a smooth cougar on his prey. slow creeping inside her space, to gain what i want. i move into her face, and pause. look at her eyes one more time, only to see them open. our lips meet, and both of our eyes remain open. in her eyes remained the want and the burning desire. after our lips met once, they met immediately again only to not part. we walked back a couple steps to the bed, our lips part only to lay down this beauty that is to be had.
i lay her down, and proceed to spread her legs. i have to open up her mind, in order to be let in. i sit up, rubbing up and down her naked thighs, and again our eyes meet. enticed with me she is; and she wants me now more than ever. i ask her if shes ready. she gives me a simple nod, fallowed by a beautiful lick of the lips. i move in for the kill, and invade her space again. kiss her so sweetly and softly, gently and slowly. i kiss down her cheek and make my way to her neck. bite, suck and kiss until i hear a sound. shes ready, but my plan has just begun. to the other side of her neck i move, crusading in the same manner, listening to her pleasure. i kiss back up her cheek and our lips meet again, now attached for the good; let the penetration begin.
i push in my love, slowly and gentle as i can. i don't want to hurt her, i hold her heart in my hands at this point. i push slow, and proceed to pump even slower. then the flow becomes recognizable and i am able to push deep. deep into her back, touching her mind, on a interconnected level connected by the heart and the spine. now she is mine. i give her all of me and she gave me her in return. after its over i lean back to the spot where i began. i look into eyes and love is all i see. she loves me for me, and now she knows all of me. as well now, i know her and our bond is deeper than a route the core. i can see she is happy that she gave me her gift, she knew i would love it, and it would bring us great peace.
sex; that began in the eyes. fallowed with a touch and then a kiss, and soon landed on the bed. love was exchanged and on an exhibition. after sex with her, i have truely found peace.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
see you in my dreams.
how did i end up right here with you
after all the things that ive been through
a broken heart has been broken
and ever since, the tree remains token
with all the smoke in the air i cant see the sun
but shes gone, no light in my life when its just begun.
how did we get here?where did we fall down?
would this ever have happened if we knew what we knew now?
but its to late, heart break. but no way were you a mistake
grow and love just to take but do it for your own sake
im to young for such heartache expressions
just a lonely stoner giving off wrong impressions
who new love was just skin deep
and will i ever find what was formerly called sleep?
eyes wide shut but my minds tied open
just to touch you once again, is all that im hopin.
but what we want most is what we can never achieve
an end to our connection i sought to never believe
until you faked left ant went right
so here alone, we spark up. smoke all night
see you in my dreams.
after all the things that ive been through
a broken heart has been broken
and ever since, the tree remains token
with all the smoke in the air i cant see the sun
but shes gone, no light in my life when its just begun.
how did we get here?where did we fall down?
would this ever have happened if we knew what we knew now?
but its to late, heart break. but no way were you a mistake
grow and love just to take but do it for your own sake
im to young for such heartache expressions
just a lonely stoner giving off wrong impressions
who new love was just skin deep
and will i ever find what was formerly called sleep?
eyes wide shut but my minds tied open
just to touch you once again, is all that im hopin.
but what we want most is what we can never achieve
an end to our connection i sought to never believe
until you faked left ant went right
so here alone, we spark up. smoke all night
see you in my dreams.
?????? cant think of a title
silence in the darkness
despair of the man
a life full of loneliness
still he tries harder than he can
void filled.
full of pointless hopes and dreams
reality skilled
a soul, more troubled than it seems
pain fixations
but still no slumber in the night
never ending explanations
so why not take flight.
circular evacuation
so why evade?
fatal attraction
lay in the bed that was made
no intruder alert
she set off no alarms
put an end to the hurt
escaping all of lifes harms
through the distance
though proceeds holding on
admirable resistance
though love, was just beyond the dawn
blind in love
no other could achieve
a feeling of above
with out her i cant breathe
-----
knife though the wind pipe
slow twist with the blade
perception of the good life
mine was delayed.
financial wars lead way
control tower speaks
black and white is not ok
love was at its peak
abandoned to be forgotten
left behind like a mistake
true words are unspoken
so im done for my sake.
despair of the man
a life full of loneliness
still he tries harder than he can
void filled.
full of pointless hopes and dreams
reality skilled
a soul, more troubled than it seems
pain fixations
but still no slumber in the night
never ending explanations
so why not take flight.
circular evacuation
so why evade?
fatal attraction
lay in the bed that was made
no intruder alert
she set off no alarms
put an end to the hurt
escaping all of lifes harms
through the distance
though proceeds holding on
admirable resistance
though love, was just beyond the dawn
blind in love
no other could achieve
a feeling of above
with out her i cant breathe
-----
knife though the wind pipe
slow twist with the blade
perception of the good life
mine was delayed.
financial wars lead way
control tower speaks
black and white is not ok
love was at its peak
abandoned to be forgotten
left behind like a mistake
true words are unspoken
so im done for my sake.
insomnia
sustained memories haunt me in the night
as thieves of slumber, the prove me blind in a fight
but never a closed eye, just invisible opponents
with a texture built for torture, they attack all components.
seeking a terror in the deepest corridors of my mind
stealing from me, stealing irreplaceable time
im sick in pain, this fights become a murder
killing me softly but the tree takes me further
gone from it all momental peace at last
until i come crashing down and perceive reality on blast.
as thieves of slumber, the prove me blind in a fight
but never a closed eye, just invisible opponents
with a texture built for torture, they attack all components.
seeking a terror in the deepest corridors of my mind
stealing from me, stealing irreplaceable time
im sick in pain, this fights become a murder
killing me softly but the tree takes me further
gone from it all momental peace at last
until i come crashing down and perceive reality on blast.
heartbreak
a loss of interactive love on strong
a split of intertwined souls that belong
together forever, forever together
but because of dark skin forever is never forever.
no longer are we together and here comes the bad weather.
black clouds in my dreams and gray skies in my day
her love said every lasting then she took it away.
too bad she took my heart and with her it will stay
i want whats best and i know she acted necessary
two bleeding hearts need space, but how i miss her is extraordinary
she truly means the world to this lonely world of mine
she brought a light, with out her, again no light will shine
darkness falling down like raindrops. flooding my mind.
a split of intertwined souls that belong
together forever, forever together
but because of dark skin forever is never forever.
no longer are we together and here comes the bad weather.
black clouds in my dreams and gray skies in my day
her love said every lasting then she took it away.
too bad she took my heart and with her it will stay
i want whats best and i know she acted necessary
two bleeding hearts need space, but how i miss her is extraordinary
she truly means the world to this lonely world of mine
she brought a light, with out her, again no light will shine
darkness falling down like raindrops. flooding my mind.
kno why
brilliant confusion
inside a beautiful mind.
on the run from a terror,
but the terror is i.
feeding my own death,
my medicine is my sickness
but more sickness
is the key to the numbness.
above it,
to high to feel at all
mind escaping explanations
just to evade the fall
while it all,
builds up in my bottle
of emotions
leading to the popped bottle
and reactions in slow motion
blurred vision,
low and slanted eye sight
trip over these bars,
black out with out a fight.
overcame by the intensity of this
lean
a folded road ahead but a path
unseen
never a foot on the breaks,
i cant slow down
im on another planet,
and ill never come down.
away from the stench of people
and the odor of their lies
dancing through the air
who is to know why?
inside a beautiful mind.
on the run from a terror,
but the terror is i.
feeding my own death,
my medicine is my sickness
but more sickness
is the key to the numbness.
above it,
to high to feel at all
mind escaping explanations
just to evade the fall
while it all,
builds up in my bottle
of emotions
leading to the popped bottle
and reactions in slow motion
blurred vision,
low and slanted eye sight
trip over these bars,
black out with out a fight.
overcame by the intensity of this
lean
a folded road ahead but a path
unseen
never a foot on the breaks,
i cant slow down
im on another planet,
and ill never come down.
away from the stench of people
and the odor of their lies
dancing through the air
who is to know why?
read my cry
an introduction to a new day and age
a new language, invading the page.
entailing a touch of the old
but forget what you knew
as i go ahead and tell the stories
of what i've been through.
all the secrets and memories
that seemed extraordinary
but are really what im running from
and prove to be very scary
obscure guidelines flow
my hot wheel selection
no mr. jr.
in my language called protection.
plant seeds of my tree
and watch money grow.
addicted to the smoke
and slowly count it go-
to none. and now my demon has won
DUMB, to commit murder but never run.
MIND GONE.
pen overflowing expression
im a man of few words
but i stray from wrong impressions
the game is the same
and this player is never changing
glass slipper shoe selected
to be your prince and charming-
no alarming
intruder alert is on recline.
whats it even matter
if im never on your mind-
time.
is all she wanted but now a her
has returned
although once burned
tables have no turned
she speaks, while i hang on every word
because her bullshit actions are heard to be heard
but never to be ignored
mind goes on a tour.
attacking true feelings
so we all live a lie
but claim fake never
and watch each other die
crashing and burning
and you just stare at the flames
feeding my pain only to do it again
so light it up again and but it all away.
inhale the rush only to exhale relaxation
all leading to a stoned representation
of happiness remaining the saddest lie.
no tears, just ink. read my cry.
a new language, invading the page.
entailing a touch of the old
but forget what you knew
as i go ahead and tell the stories
of what i've been through.
all the secrets and memories
that seemed extraordinary
but are really what im running from
and prove to be very scary
obscure guidelines flow
my hot wheel selection
no mr. jr.
in my language called protection.
plant seeds of my tree
and watch money grow.
addicted to the smoke
and slowly count it go-
to none. and now my demon has won
DUMB, to commit murder but never run.
MIND GONE.
pen overflowing expression
im a man of few words
but i stray from wrong impressions
the game is the same
and this player is never changing
glass slipper shoe selected
to be your prince and charming-
no alarming
intruder alert is on recline.
whats it even matter
if im never on your mind-
time.
is all she wanted but now a her
has returned
although once burned
tables have no turned
she speaks, while i hang on every word
because her bullshit actions are heard to be heard
but never to be ignored
mind goes on a tour.
attacking true feelings
so we all live a lie
but claim fake never
and watch each other die
crashing and burning
and you just stare at the flames
feeding my pain only to do it again
so light it up again and but it all away.
inhale the rush only to exhale relaxation
all leading to a stoned representation
of happiness remaining the saddest lie.
no tears, just ink. read my cry.
dreams
a developmental
high
status
the way
down
will require
an apparatus
dreams
through the day
where is reality?
what
is love
in actuality?
but who
is to say?
who made the rules
only to
be broken
and cause crashes of the skull
mind gone
a sound bending
exploitation.
of a
trusted miss-leader
who fell in conviction
to a judge who
is her.
when she is the
sun.
now locked
in these bars
my struggles just begun.
i hear
them calling
but i have no reply
the back
that used to have me
i can no longer rely.
gone
like the wind
or a shuttle to the sky
out of site
and out of world
who is left
but i.
room at capacity
still i feel alone
abandoned
by it all
this world wont
give me be a bone.
therefore
continues
my endless escapes.
to the
dark side of the moon
where there is no mistake.
my dreams
are reality
and actuality
in my zone
like the rest
chasing
what they call happy.
but life is what you make it.
high
status
the way
down
will require
an apparatus
dreams
through the day
where is reality?
what
is love
in actuality?
but who
is to say?
who made the rules
only to
be broken
and cause crashes of the skull
mind gone
a sound bending
exploitation.
of a
trusted miss-leader
who fell in conviction
to a judge who
is her.
when she is the
sun.
now locked
in these bars
my struggles just begun.
i hear
them calling
but i have no reply
the back
that used to have me
i can no longer rely.
gone
like the wind
or a shuttle to the sky
out of site
and out of world
who is left
but i.
room at capacity
still i feel alone
abandoned
by it all
this world wont
give me be a bone.
therefore
continues
my endless escapes.
to the
dark side of the moon
where there is no mistake.
my dreams
are reality
and actuality
in my zone
like the rest
chasing
what they call happy.
but life is what you make it.
it said
it said,
bleeding ink inside the bars of the page
on elevation, rest in peaces to the cage.
time to strike, round the corner it will occur
she said life is but a dream but to me its just a blur
days full of haze keep me for days in a daze
simply in seek to non-REMEMBER that spot that she laid
all the time and the money, plus all the promises you made
in the end it was all brand new
i feel like i never even really knew "you"
actors on a stage appearing analytical with potential.
but soon enough proved- NO potential and hypocritical
you are who you say you are but you dont act like it
played blind in the game and never tried to fight it.
blamed it on love and emotions of forever,
all youve shown you me now is your forever is never.
because all together, you cant keep it together
abandoning love in seek of financial endeavors.
wasnt love at all, remember? life is but a dream
clear the smoke, because its never what it seems.
bleeding ink inside the bars of the page
on elevation, rest in peaces to the cage.
time to strike, round the corner it will occur
she said life is but a dream but to me its just a blur
days full of haze keep me for days in a daze
simply in seek to non-REMEMBER that spot that she laid
all the time and the money, plus all the promises you made
in the end it was all brand new
i feel like i never even really knew "you"
actors on a stage appearing analytical with potential.
but soon enough proved- NO potential and hypocritical
you are who you say you are but you dont act like it
played blind in the game and never tried to fight it.
blamed it on love and emotions of forever,
all youve shown you me now is your forever is never.
because all together, you cant keep it together
abandoning love in seek of financial endeavors.
wasnt love at all, remember? life is but a dream
clear the smoke, because its never what it seems.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Evan Bridges
Freshman year was really just a blur. I don’t even really remember it that well but I know forusre I had a lot of fun at school and at things related to school. Baseball and soccer games and were what I liked the most. I had fun and was all about having fun. I was young and naive, I didn’t really write then at all. If I ever did write then, then it was just to be silly or writing a rap or something just messing around. I had good grades freshman year, ended with a 3.71 or close I think. Writing wasn’t a part of my life at all at that point. I wasn’t worried really worried about it and I never knew I was any good at it. Running was all I stressed about, and I was just a freshman so worries were scarce. Life was good and easy.
Sophomore year was just a mess. A lot about myself changed sophomore year. Grades started slipping, had an older girlfriend and all that was just a worse mess. This was the year I found out I like to write a little bit though. I found out mostly that I had a little talent for it and I know how to put words together and make them sound like they fit, it’s like a puzzle to me in my mind. I wrote about my feelings really. I like to write things and let girls read them, get some brownie points, trying to be a cute little poet and what not. I was a fool forsure.
Junior year I gained some wisdom. Very much so became my own person and started creating my own beliefs and ideas. I was a mess really, just a happy going guy with rarely a foul word to say. My writing really took birth this year. I took it seriously and put as much effort into as I could which was rare because I’ve never done that very often. I was good at writing, I wrote about girls of the past and pains of heart breaks of the past. I can put my feelings into words so perfectly sometimes in my own language. My writing at this point is where the poetic side took off. My metaphorical and rhyming skills took off, I found out I could really write. It was something that I was legit at and it’s something that I can pursue and for sure do forever. I fell in love with writing this year, I fell in love with the way it makes me feel.
When I write a perfect line, followed by another and another to end the stanza, it’s a perfect feeling. The most accomplished feelings I have ever experienced have came while writing.
Senior year my writing did nothing but improve. My confidence grew and it has become art in my mind. I take it seriously and write from my heart, I write about my life and the struggles I go through. It helps to write but I don’t as of right now feel its sufficient enough to be my only outlet. It makes me feel good to get out what I have to say, but the dilemmas are still at hand whether I write them down or not. The swipe of my pen or the prancing of my fingers along these keys will not change the anger I hold in my heart, or the person I have become. All writing can do is express it. It is my favorite way to express myself and I seem to be on a never ending goal with that being the only apparent objective. If you read my writing over the years, and then watched a video of me over the years, it would be easy to see the connections and see how I grew as a human being, not just a student or a writer.
Now I’m at the end and about to graduate. I cannot stand to be in this fortress any longer, it is draining the life of me as I type. In college I plan to read a lot more than I ever have. I feel like I need to educate myself with poetry and read a whole lot more than I have to ever be the best writer I can. Reading about everything under the sun, just to listen to someone else express themselves, the same thing I am just trying to do.
Freshman year was really just a blur. I don’t even really remember it that well but I know forusre I had a lot of fun at school and at things related to school. Baseball and soccer games and were what I liked the most. I had fun and was all about having fun. I was young and naive, I didn’t really write then at all. If I ever did write then, then it was just to be silly or writing a rap or something just messing around. I had good grades freshman year, ended with a 3.71 or close I think. Writing wasn’t a part of my life at all at that point. I wasn’t worried really worried about it and I never knew I was any good at it. Running was all I stressed about, and I was just a freshman so worries were scarce. Life was good and easy.
Sophomore year was just a mess. A lot about myself changed sophomore year. Grades started slipping, had an older girlfriend and all that was just a worse mess. This was the year I found out I like to write a little bit though. I found out mostly that I had a little talent for it and I know how to put words together and make them sound like they fit, it’s like a puzzle to me in my mind. I wrote about my feelings really. I like to write things and let girls read them, get some brownie points, trying to be a cute little poet and what not. I was a fool forsure.
Junior year I gained some wisdom. Very much so became my own person and started creating my own beliefs and ideas. I was a mess really, just a happy going guy with rarely a foul word to say. My writing really took birth this year. I took it seriously and put as much effort into as I could which was rare because I’ve never done that very often. I was good at writing, I wrote about girls of the past and pains of heart breaks of the past. I can put my feelings into words so perfectly sometimes in my own language. My writing at this point is where the poetic side took off. My metaphorical and rhyming skills took off, I found out I could really write. It was something that I was legit at and it’s something that I can pursue and for sure do forever. I fell in love with writing this year, I fell in love with the way it makes me feel.
When I write a perfect line, followed by another and another to end the stanza, it’s a perfect feeling. The most accomplished feelings I have ever experienced have came while writing.
Senior year my writing did nothing but improve. My confidence grew and it has become art in my mind. I take it seriously and write from my heart, I write about my life and the struggles I go through. It helps to write but I don’t as of right now feel its sufficient enough to be my only outlet. It makes me feel good to get out what I have to say, but the dilemmas are still at hand whether I write them down or not. The swipe of my pen or the prancing of my fingers along these keys will not change the anger I hold in my heart, or the person I have become. All writing can do is express it. It is my favorite way to express myself and I seem to be on a never ending goal with that being the only apparent objective. If you read my writing over the years, and then watched a video of me over the years, it would be easy to see the connections and see how I grew as a human being, not just a student or a writer.
Now I’m at the end and about to graduate. I cannot stand to be in this fortress any longer, it is draining the life of me as I type. In college I plan to read a lot more than I ever have. I feel like I need to educate myself with poetry and read a whole lot more than I have to ever be the best writer I can. Reading about everything under the sun, just to listen to someone else express themselves, the same thing I am just trying to do.
Friday, April 30, 2010
come take a look inside
what is the conformity of man?
who is to set the standards for the conformity of man?
why must we call out the copy cats, but reject the abnormal?
weakness seems prided on, who is strong enough to be them self?
the pieces of the puzzle of life are endless.
if you think you have it all figured out, i pity you.
what is life?
perhaps a journey, a maze in search of ones self.
searching for an answer with in, for why i am not like the rest.
an answer for the question of my purpose in this life
or the route to the path to the heavens. to live and prosper
but really its all immensely unattainable , i must find happiness in the journey
because life is the journey, heaven is just a dream.
self expression is beautiful.
but society acceptance is ugly.
conformity and structure rule our world
i color out side the lines. get over it.
who is to set the standards for the conformity of man?
why must we call out the copy cats, but reject the abnormal?
weakness seems prided on, who is strong enough to be them self?
the pieces of the puzzle of life are endless.
if you think you have it all figured out, i pity you.
what is life?
perhaps a journey, a maze in search of ones self.
searching for an answer with in, for why i am not like the rest.
an answer for the question of my purpose in this life
or the route to the path to the heavens. to live and prosper
but really its all immensely unattainable , i must find happiness in the journey
because life is the journey, heaven is just a dream.
self expression is beautiful.
but society acceptance is ugly.
conformity and structure rule our world
i color out side the lines. get over it.
call it what you want.
alone in the dark
a common theme of my writing.
my place of peace, perceived happiness
my home, where i am comfortable.
no negativity, none but my own.
feelings of self love, fall deep within the shadows.
its inescapable, this feeling i feel.
the weed takes me higher, to high to feel.
i am not scared of the truth. or to be different.
i almost prefer it, its where i feel most comfortable.
but nothing matches the bliss
of being alone in the dark.
the dark is so overwhelming and embracing
it attacks me from every angle, encompassing my being.
i see a light. i do.
i am on my way there. i am.
life is long and i have time to grow
there is a time for everything, i must let it come
but blame has to stop
for the power to forever be mine.
the power to control my destiny
as meaningless as it may seem.
i am not the norm
its all bigger to me.
no one understands.
a common theme of my writing.
my place of peace, perceived happiness
my home, where i am comfortable.
no negativity, none but my own.
feelings of self love, fall deep within the shadows.
its inescapable, this feeling i feel.
the weed takes me higher, to high to feel.
i am not scared of the truth. or to be different.
i almost prefer it, its where i feel most comfortable.
but nothing matches the bliss
of being alone in the dark.
the dark is so overwhelming and embracing
it attacks me from every angle, encompassing my being.
i see a light. i do.
i am on my way there. i am.
life is long and i have time to grow
there is a time for everything, i must let it come
but blame has to stop
for the power to forever be mine.
the power to control my destiny
as meaningless as it may seem.
i am not the norm
its all bigger to me.
no one understands.
Monday, April 26, 2010
forever isnt long enough
how inferior i feel to what she deserves.
how can i, give the WORLD?
when love comes as silent as the wind
a bond is created, deeper than a love pursued
holding her face in my hands,
the beauty i hold is truely rare
a selfless love
id trade it all for her.
the realest love
caused by the realest of actions
fallowed by the realest feelings of a lifetime
a love like this was immensely unknown
a girl, different from the rest, was only in a dream
well then sleeping i must be
because she has arrived.
forever isnt long enough.
how can i, give the WORLD?
when love comes as silent as the wind
a bond is created, deeper than a love pursued
holding her face in my hands,
the beauty i hold is truely rare
a selfless love
id trade it all for her.
the realest love
caused by the realest of actions
fallowed by the realest feelings of a lifetime
a love like this was immensely unknown
a girl, different from the rest, was only in a dream
well then sleeping i must be
because she has arrived.
forever isnt long enough.
ill never let go
from the first time we met
i knew it could be us
not an i or a you.
an us.
the bounds of our love are endless
ill never let go.
the softest kiss
the softest skin
the most loving eyes
ill never let go
i cant breathe when you touch me
looking into your eyes i know
this is the safest place to be in love.
your are my life
ill never let go.
all i know is to give you all of me,
and every part of me belongs to your love
ill never let go.
i knew it could be us
not an i or a you.
an us.
the bounds of our love are endless
ill never let go.
the softest kiss
the softest skin
the most loving eyes
ill never let go
i cant breathe when you touch me
looking into your eyes i know
this is the safest place to be in love.
your are my life
ill never let go.
all i know is to give you all of me,
and every part of me belongs to your love
ill never let go.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
can you hear me?
alone in the dark
these tears, oh these tears
sweat to never again be agonized
by a her, whom seemed to have it strategized
had me fooled. i even apologized?
when all a long, she was an act
cheating isn't love, thats a fact
my heart has exploded, how to react?
i hold my chin up, as they observe
keep my head high, shut off every nerve
thoughts roam, who was i to deserve?
the peices of my heart are broken and lost
from this day on my heart is in a frost
in an ice box, not open for any cost.
i hear them calling me, cudi i do.
but i need them, to hear my call too.
these tears, oh these tears
sweat to never again be agonized
by a her, whom seemed to have it strategized
had me fooled. i even apologized?
when all a long, she was an act
cheating isn't love, thats a fact
my heart has exploded, how to react?
i hold my chin up, as they observe
keep my head high, shut off every nerve
thoughts roam, who was i to deserve?
the peices of my heart are broken and lost
from this day on my heart is in a frost
in an ice box, not open for any cost.
i hear them calling me, cudi i do.
but i need them, to hear my call too.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
im sorry
tears stream down these childish cheeks
head pounding, feeling more hopeless by each breath.
i find my fatal mistakes in the people i love the most.
i push them away because in the trained mind of mine
love can only lead to pain.
if i love you, ill hurt you.
head pounding, feeling more hopeless by each breath.
i find my fatal mistakes in the people i love the most.
i push them away because in the trained mind of mine
love can only lead to pain.
if i love you, ill hurt you.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
waste
life is wasted on the surface.
masks worn by the characters of my story
the acts they put on are nothing short of pathetic.
apathy is not necessary when living with the blind
vision can be daunted, thoughts can be bewildered.
but with out the lies to your vision, a lie is not a lie.
apathy for the blind who dont have to see?!
im happy for the blind, oh how so free
to have never lived by a trained eye.
they see thoughts, with no chance of a lie.
the set in stone roles we have been given
the black boy steals
the white boy drives a truck
the white girl sucks dick
the blak girl is full of tude.
this material world will soon be the least of our worries.
but now its all that matters. sad.
masks worn by the characters of my story
the acts they put on are nothing short of pathetic.
apathy is not necessary when living with the blind
vision can be daunted, thoughts can be bewildered.
but with out the lies to your vision, a lie is not a lie.
apathy for the blind who dont have to see?!
im happy for the blind, oh how so free
to have never lived by a trained eye.
they see thoughts, with no chance of a lie.
the set in stone roles we have been given
the black boy steals
the white boy drives a truck
the white girl sucks dick
the blak girl is full of tude.
this material world will soon be the least of our worries.
but now its all that matters. sad.
Monday, March 29, 2010
helpless love
how helpless we are in this game;
the blind, unseen truth lies beneath.
unforshadowed and unexpected,
then hidden and suppressed
these uncontrollable feelings raging through me.
suprising it came so
but came as smooth as the sun rises.
the surest thing to be ever known
this love we have
is helpless.
a battle, of which one can seemingly not care the most
but this strategy eludes us.
for the love we have gaps vast bounds
stretches far beyond the eye could ever see
its more than mere words could ever write or speak
the memories of us so intimiate i do not even speak
i wish for the memory to be mine and only mine for me to enjoy
my helpless love.
the blind, unseen truth lies beneath.
unforshadowed and unexpected,
then hidden and suppressed
these uncontrollable feelings raging through me.
suprising it came so
but came as smooth as the sun rises.
the surest thing to be ever known
this love we have
is helpless.
a battle, of which one can seemingly not care the most
but this strategy eludes us.
for the love we have gaps vast bounds
stretches far beyond the eye could ever see
its more than mere words could ever write or speak
the memories of us so intimiate i do not even speak
i wish for the memory to be mine and only mine for me to enjoy
my helpless love.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
in my room
alone in my room
i spent my childhood.
alone in my room
my imagination soared.
imagination being a vast understatement
for the validity and realness of my nightmares.
to stay happy i played.
the pictures of glorious battles were painted
by the scences and placements of my army men
the most intricate and complicated lego creations
thought up of only by a mind, beyond a mind.
i was a scared little boy.
scared most by merely my own thoughts.
alone i was, in my room.
alone is all i knew.
alone is all i remember.
alone is all i am.
i spent my childhood.
alone in my room
my imagination soared.
imagination being a vast understatement
for the validity and realness of my nightmares.
to stay happy i played.
the pictures of glorious battles were painted
by the scences and placements of my army men
the most intricate and complicated lego creations
thought up of only by a mind, beyond a mind.
i was a scared little boy.
scared most by merely my own thoughts.
alone i was, in my room.
alone is all i knew.
alone is all i remember.
alone is all i am.
Monday, March 1, 2010
liberty
poetic inverted mind
silenced by sustaining obligations.
battling the rip tides of man's doings.
swimming against the current
being different takes strength.
living in the most current state of mind
irrelevant, is the past, but where am i going?
a stoner charm with a sense that its all
bigger than me.
therefore, i am free.
lonely is the feeling and alone is the way
liberation unattainable, for the truth shall set man free.
however they remain, in the prison of their lies.
actors on a stage.
silenced by sustaining obligations.
battling the rip tides of man's doings.
swimming against the current
being different takes strength.
living in the most current state of mind
irrelevant, is the past, but where am i going?
a stoner charm with a sense that its all
bigger than me.
therefore, i am free.
lonely is the feeling and alone is the way
liberation unattainable, for the truth shall set man free.
however they remain, in the prison of their lies.
actors on a stage.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
daddy
what is so wrong with me?
why do i feel as tho i am so unloved
so looked over
i feel like no one cares.
ill quit given you advice and just cut your hair.
the words he leaves his " son " with.
what if god left jesus like that.
where would all you god fearing patrons be now?
same place i am
in a loss of sense
a state of backwards confusion
full of heart ache and tears
i yearn to be numb.
able to not feel even the sharpest of forced entries.
eventually i will be there.
peace is on the horizon
why do i feel as tho i am so unloved
so looked over
i feel like no one cares.
ill quit given you advice and just cut your hair.
the words he leaves his " son " with.
what if god left jesus like that.
where would all you god fearing patrons be now?
same place i am
in a loss of sense
a state of backwards confusion
full of heart ache and tears
i yearn to be numb.
able to not feel even the sharpest of forced entries.
eventually i will be there.
peace is on the horizon
my life
my life:
sitting in the middle of a dark room alone.
listening to the silence.
finding it strange that this seems preferred.
no one understands.
not even me.
sitting in the middle of a dark room alone.
listening to the silence.
finding it strange that this seems preferred.
no one understands.
not even me.
war
im my own worst enemy
running in circles
landing in the beginning
forcing myself to hold it all in
only to explode in an array of emotions
bleeding hopelessness and yearning for meaning
where did it start
where does it end
will i ever be free
of myself.
running in circles
landing in the beginning
forcing myself to hold it all in
only to explode in an array of emotions
bleeding hopelessness and yearning for meaning
where did it start
where does it end
will i ever be free
of myself.
the fall
sunshine is irrelevant
the gray skys of my world never embark upon
the blue heavens that not only gods can speak of.
the world revolved around what
other than currency
selfish pigheaded minds parading as realist
i pity this world.
and everything it will become.
the gray skys of my world never embark upon
the blue heavens that not only gods can speak of.
the world revolved around what
other than currency
selfish pigheaded minds parading as realist
i pity this world.
and everything it will become.
alone
10 blogs a month.
poetry to entertain the unentertained.
words to explain my pain
but who really cares.
no one reads the lines from my mind
so why even write and try to unwind
the cap of my emotions
twisted tighter than the tightest of twisted might
nightmares of unreasonable terror torture me thru the night
who is there to know
who is there to see
nobody.
im alone.
poetry to entertain the unentertained.
words to explain my pain
but who really cares.
no one reads the lines from my mind
so why even write and try to unwind
the cap of my emotions
twisted tighter than the tightest of twisted might
nightmares of unreasonable terror torture me thru the night
who is there to know
who is there to see
nobody.
im alone.
????????
what is the point of this life?
what is there to hope for?
4 more years of running and dragging my raged body
4 more years of learning that will amount to nearly nothing
a life of working to feed a family i will feel engaged to love
loving a wife whom i stay with even tho shes changed.
the love can never remain to same forever.
what is there to hope for?
meaninglesss.
what is there to hope for?
4 more years of running and dragging my raged body
4 more years of learning that will amount to nearly nothing
a life of working to feed a family i will feel engaged to love
loving a wife whom i stay with even tho shes changed.
the love can never remain to same forever.
what is there to hope for?
meaninglesss.
heavy
hopelessness
abandonment
im lost
im hurting
save me please,
anybody.
i hear them chasing me
but will i answer them
i cannot escape
myself
abandonment
im lost
im hurting
save me please,
anybody.
i hear them chasing me
but will i answer them
i cannot escape
myself
what would you do?
What would you think if you saw the world thru my eyes
From where im standing,from the position im in.
Would you understand how i feel, would you feel my pain, would you draw the same
Conclusions.
Would you let anyone in?
Would you be scared or angry
Or as confused as i am?
Would you light it up to make all these feelings go away?
Just to come down and see that its all really the same
It wasnt supposed to be like this.
Not me not my life
Why am i so mad
Why cant i just let go?
I feel as if i dont and never will know.
But if you saw the world thru my eyes could you ever understand how deep it hurts, al the way to my soul.
Is that something yo could live with every single day? could you get out of bed each morning with out ever really sleeping
Would you have the strenght to keep pushing
To be the man you seek
Or would you fold and never become.
A man, at all.
If you saw the world thru my eyes, what would you do?
From where im standing,from the position im in.
Would you understand how i feel, would you feel my pain, would you draw the same
Conclusions.
Would you let anyone in?
Would you be scared or angry
Or as confused as i am?
Would you light it up to make all these feelings go away?
Just to come down and see that its all really the same
It wasnt supposed to be like this.
Not me not my life
Why am i so mad
Why cant i just let go?
I feel as if i dont and never will know.
But if you saw the world thru my eyes could you ever understand how deep it hurts, al the way to my soul.
Is that something yo could live with every single day? could you get out of bed each morning with out ever really sleeping
Would you have the strenght to keep pushing
To be the man you seek
Or would you fold and never become.
A man, at all.
If you saw the world thru my eyes, what would you do?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
february 11th.
Thursday February 11th.
the last day, before the first day of my life.
February 11th everything changes.
life begins.
the smoke is cleared.
February 11th is the last of the hazy vision.
a blog everyday. to celebrate unblocked reality.
let love for her grow stronger and stronger.
Evan Bridges. 2-11-10
the last day, before the first day of my life.
February 11th everything changes.
life begins.
the smoke is cleared.
February 11th is the last of the hazy vision.
a blog everyday. to celebrate unblocked reality.
let love for her grow stronger and stronger.
Evan Bridges. 2-11-10
Sunday, January 31, 2010
fullfilling
the tenth blog
in the nick of time
one month closer to graduation day
life becomes life and it truely begins.
but ohhhhhh the boredom until may.
in the nick of time
one month closer to graduation day
life becomes life and it truely begins.
but ohhhhhh the boredom until may.
her
the last two days have probably been the most eye opening of all my days
i see that i am truely as alone as i think
but at the same time im not, because i always have her
its insane how much we have in common that we dont even know about
we learn more and more and fall more and more in love everytime we speak or meet
she teaches me so much and opens my eyes the same way i do hers
she can speak through her feelings, and bring my emotions out of me
shes becoming my life and its a life i love to live
my life has been saved by her
and love like hers will never be shown by another
real.
and nothing but it.
i am in love.
i see that i am truely as alone as i think
but at the same time im not, because i always have her
its insane how much we have in common that we dont even know about
we learn more and more and fall more and more in love everytime we speak or meet
she teaches me so much and opens my eyes the same way i do hers
she can speak through her feelings, and bring my emotions out of me
shes becoming my life and its a life i love to live
my life has been saved by her
and love like hers will never be shown by another
real.
and nothing but it.
i am in love.
questions
why is nothing perfect
why are we all different
who is really in charge
what power do we really fallow
how far away is the moon
how high is too high
whats in the sky
whats under the ground
why am i so lonely
why is everyone so fake
why is the weak the majority
how long will this continue
who sent her here to save me
why?
why are we all different
who is really in charge
what power do we really fallow
how far away is the moon
how high is too high
whats in the sky
whats under the ground
why am i so lonely
why is everyone so fake
why is the weak the majority
how long will this continue
who sent her here to save me
why?
gay
love encompassed passion
exhilarating and breathe taking
the pause just before a kiss
the lock of eyes just after the touch of lips
hands showing love
bodies showing attraction
heavy breathing steady rising
time is here to let nature take its course
the deflowering of the bosom
and the search for warmth
same as the flower to the sun
as the wind thrust and pedals float in the breeze
turning now into the peaceful silence of slumber
the tightest hold is never quite enough
but a touch is all that is needed to stay safe through the night
exhilarating and breathe taking
the pause just before a kiss
the lock of eyes just after the touch of lips
hands showing love
bodies showing attraction
heavy breathing steady rising
time is here to let nature take its course
the deflowering of the bosom
and the search for warmth
same as the flower to the sun
as the wind thrust and pedals float in the breeze
turning now into the peaceful silence of slumber
the tightest hold is never quite enough
but a touch is all that is needed to stay safe through the night
Saturday, January 30, 2010
reasons
Alone.
Misunderstood.
The mind of a youth in struggle
Is more complex and in pain than ever
Unloved, noone cares, how will this continue?
Misguided, off track; realize im throwing it all away
The smoke remains the remedy, but only to stay numb
To feel nothing and give nothing
to anyone
Thats all the smoke can do for me.
But thats not what i want, not what my heart wants
I stay on my route, but i see that this left should have been right.
Its never to late to make anything happen
Impossible is nothing and options are endless
But i need someone to show me love
To teach me how to love
Someone real enough to tell me im half the man i think i am
A world rocker, a shocker aka just someone real
This person i will never find though
Bc shes been in my life all the while.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Misunderstood.
The mind of a youth in struggle
Is more complex and in pain than ever
Unloved, noone cares, how will this continue?
Misguided, off track; realize im throwing it all away
The smoke remains the remedy, but only to stay numb
To feel nothing and give nothing
to anyone
Thats all the smoke can do for me.
But thats not what i want, not what my heart wants
I stay on my route, but i see that this left should have been right.
Its never to late to make anything happen
Impossible is nothing and options are endless
But i need someone to show me love
To teach me how to love
Someone real enough to tell me im half the man i think i am
A world rocker, a shocker aka just someone real
This person i will never find though
Bc shes been in my life all the while.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Friday, January 22, 2010
true poetry, rap is crap???
rap is crap?? look again true faces of ignorance.
the feelings the behind the struggle of a man trying to make it.
deep.
(Lil Wayne) I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes
Hate in my heart, love in my mind
I seen nights full of pain, days of the same
You keep the sunshine, save me the rain
I search but never find, hurt but never cry
I work and forever try, but Im cursed, so never mind
And its worse, but better times seem further and beyond
The top gets higher the more that I climb
The spot gets smaller, and I get bigger
Tryna get into where I fit in, no room for a brotha
Cause all the bullshit, it made me strong, my brotha
mmmhm.
the feelings the behind the struggle of a man trying to make it.
deep.
(Lil Wayne) I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes
Hate in my heart, love in my mind
I seen nights full of pain, days of the same
You keep the sunshine, save me the rain
I search but never find, hurt but never cry
I work and forever try, but Im cursed, so never mind
And its worse, but better times seem further and beyond
The top gets higher the more that I climb
The spot gets smaller, and I get bigger
Tryna get into where I fit in, no room for a brotha
Cause all the bullshit, it made me strong, my brotha
mmmhm.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
twist and pull
as i sit and twist and pull
my hair, i ponder what is to come.i wonder why things happen
and where does the wind come from.as i sit and twist and pull
the plug holding back the gallons of rainlet it shower, wash us clean
so i can see my friend again.as i sit and twist and pull
this knife out of my soulthe pain never lets me forget
all the friends ive had to watch go.as i sit and twist and pull
these emotions from my being
im in need of answers
and answers ill be seeking
as i sit and twist and pull
the comedic remedies out to ease
the seriousness of reality
locked up, throw out the keys.
as i sit and twist and pull
i run out of fight
the listening has passed
and im all out of might.
these emotions from my being
im in need of answers
and answers ill be seeking
as i sit and twist and pull
the comedic remedies out to ease
the seriousness of reality
locked up, throw out the keys.
as i sit and twist and pull
i run out of fight
the listening has passed
and im all out of might.
Friday, January 15, 2010
show me purpose
mass imperfection.
poetic justice show me purpose.
why are we here? in this life, its such a circus.
inside the tri-ringed arena of deep subconciousness
im looking at the sky, thinking which one is the blindest
a people; living immensely vicariously
who are you? the truth entails a mystery
we all know but they still dont want to tell you
they want you thinking your heaven sent and hell proof
to scared to accpent a rational truth
answers are served to do away with the rash
let the dutche smoke float, and fly with the ash
poetic justice show me purpose.
why are we here? in this life, its such a circus.
inside the tri-ringed arena of deep subconciousness
im looking at the sky, thinking which one is the blindest
a people; living immensely vicariously
who are you? the truth entails a mystery
we all know but they still dont want to tell you
they want you thinking your heaven sent and hell proof
to scared to accpent a rational truth
answers are served to do away with the rash
let the dutche smoke float, and fly with the ash
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
no end is near.
no end is near.
why should i join a people that live in fear?
i stand alone in pitch black bliss
chasing unseen yet undenied happiness
with no unloved resistence but with an undying persistence
to remain.
i walk alone
thru the night, thru this life
drowning in my sorrow
losing sight, of the light
but my mind is free in the night.
the illusions portrayed by the shadows
the terrors, lerking around every corner
so i retreat into every corridor;
of my mind.
relying on the inhaling explanation
speak to my soul
take me to my destination.
my home is a place unfound
no end is near
so it goes round and round.
why should i join a people that live in fear?
i stand alone in pitch black bliss
chasing unseen yet undenied happiness
with no unloved resistence but with an undying persistence
to remain.
i walk alone
thru the night, thru this life
drowning in my sorrow
losing sight, of the light
but my mind is free in the night.
the illusions portrayed by the shadows
the terrors, lerking around every corner
so i retreat into every corridor;
of my mind.
relying on the inhaling explanation
speak to my soul
take me to my destination.
my home is a place unfound
no end is near
so it goes round and round.
real talk.
my ideal is to be the ideal runner. up untill this summer my body was a well oiled machine. ran every morning ate all day stayed as healthy as could be. but anymore i just feel miserable half the time and hazy the rest. the samething that makes me sick makes me feel better so its a vicious cycle thats taking me no where. if things changed i could have my body back to the high stature that it once was. but the thing is, that change takes to long to make me feel better, i need more immediate results, which just leads to more misery. misery needs company so ofcourse i treat everyone else around me like shit. me and the ol girl got into it pretty bad because i was basically being a huge butt hole for absolutely no reason and embarassed her infront of a new friend of hers. things like that make me step back and look and the things im doing and i know i have to make adjustments. its not to late for major changes, i just dont want one. i like how i live and what i do, therefore i do and will continue to do it. and ofcourse i know my potential as a runner, i could be great. i am great. i will continue to be great. but like they say runners are always complaining but never satisfied. one of these days ill get things straight, but who knows when thatll be. ive always been the kinda guy thats very rational and reasonable. i have a lot of sense and know how, but you couldnt tell by this because its the only thing i do that doesnt make any sense. but no end is near.
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